We were so poor when I was growing up…
– I had a corncob G.I. Joe.
– When I was a kid, I had only one change of clothes, so my mom had to wrap me in a blanket every night to do the wash.
– We had only one fork; at dinner, I’d take a bite and pass the fork and by the time it came back around, I had finished chewing and was ready for the next bite.
– We could only afford buttons with one hole.
– When we ate out, we couldn’t get it to go because we couldn’t afford to go anywhere.
– In shop class, I had to make a bird trailer instead of a bird house.
– The tooth fairy left us food stamps.
– When our trees changed colors in the fall, it was in black and white.
– We skinny dipped with our clothes on so that they’d get one good wash a week.
– When the canary died in the mines, we ate it.
– In my first little league game, I stole second base, hid it under my shirt, and ate it later.
– My brother and I took turns holding up each others britches because we couldn’t afford a belt.
– We ate seconds first so we’d have the main meal later.
– When the milk curdled, we just chewed.
– Every time we got a new car, we recycled the air from the old tires to the new tires just to save a little money.
– My piggy bank skinnied up and withered away.
– We burned the candle at just one end.
– When my arithmetic teacher told us that numbers cannot be divided by zero, I said, “Watch me.”
– Instead of a security blanket, I had a security handiwipe.
– When the cashier said she needed my driver’s license, I demanded, “What about my needs.”
– When I left the door open and someone said, “What, were you born in a barn?” I could honestly answer, “Yes.”
– When the local priest took a vow of poverty, he called on us for pointers.
– I was glad to be born a boy because at least I had something to play with.
(This one IS NOT mine! A doctor friend of the family said it.)
– I was raised in a Quonset hut.
(This one IS mine, and it’s true!)