We were so poor (only humor… maybe)

We were so poor when I was growing up…

Corn cob GI Joe, 1

GI Joe, made from a corn cob (let’s say that this one is wearing a kilt!)

– I had a corncob G.I. Joe.

– When I was a kid, I had only one change of clothes, so my mom had to wrap me in a blanket every night to do the wash.

– We had only one fork; at dinner, I’d take a bite and pass the fork and by the time it came back around, I had finished chewing and was ready for the next bite.

– We could only afford buttons with one hole.

– When we ate out, we couldn’t get it to go because we couldn’t afford to go anywhere.

– In shop class, I had to make a bird trailer instead of a bird house.

poor boy's bunk bed

poor boy’s bunk bed

– The tooth fairy left us food stamps.

– When our trees changed colors in the fall, it was in black and white.

– We skinny dipped with our clothes on so that they’d get one good wash a week.

– When the canary died in the mines, we ate it.

“Please send money!”

– In my first little league game, I stole second base, hid it under my shirt, and ate it later.

– My brother and I took turns holding up each others britches because we couldn’t afford a belt.

– We ate seconds first so we’d have the main meal later.

– When the milk curdled, we just chewed.

– Every time we got a new car, we recycled the air from the old tires to the new tires just to save a little money.

– My piggy bank skinnied up and withered away.

– We burned the candle at just one end.

Norman Rockwell, poor boy

Norman Rockwell, “Poor Boy”

– When my arithmetic teacher told us that numbers cannot be divided by zero, I said, “Watch me.”

– Instead of a security blanket, I had a security handiwipe.

– When the cashier said she needed my driver’s license, I demanded, “What about my needs.”

– When I left the door open and someone said, “What, were you born in a barn?” I could honestly answer, “Yes.”

– When the local priest took a vow of poverty, he called on us for pointers.

– Moths had to bring in their own clothes so they wouldn’t starve to death.

– We had to pay it backward.

– We acted poorly in the community play so we could gather up tomatoes thrown at us.

– I was glad to be born a boy because at least I had something to play with.
(Not mine!  A doctor friend of the family said it.)

Yes, I lived in a Quonset hut for a while!

Yes, I lived in a Quonset hut for a while!

– I was raised in a Quonset hut.
(This one is mine, and it’s true!)



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