60 & beyond, March

March 1 – Even if I had another hour in my day to get things done, I would need another two hours of sleep to recuperate.

March 2 – The wife always volunteers for things that the husband enjoys doing.

March 3 – I’ve heard it said that the only things certain in life are death and taxes.  That’s only half true.  While one Man ever beat death, even He paid His taxes.

March 4 – The customer is not always right.

March 5 – What the Great I AM will do…  is now…  and has already been done.  (Isaiah 44:6-7; 46:10; 48:3-7; Acts 15:18; Hebrews 13:8; Revelation 1:8, 17-18)

March 6 – You know something?  The guy who says, “You know…” a lot must have confidence in my intelligence.  So why does he repeat what he thinks I know after he says, “You know…”?

March 7 – An old Native American death song says, “Nothing lives long, only the earth and the mountains.”  But in the grand scheme of Divine things, even the earth and mountains are short-lived.

March 8 – When Jesus shows up…  oh, wait…  He’s already here.

March 9 – When the influences of older, greater, and seemingly wiser men become dubious and self-serving, it’s always time for young men to take over.  (Read Job, especially chapters 32-37).

March 10 – While Adam (the first man) obviously did one thing wrong, we forget that he also did one thing right:  he answered God when God called to him.  Perhaps that’s a lesson just as important as knowing that we’re all sinners thanks to Adam.

March 11 – A five year old boy ran up and hugged me this morning right before his basketball game at church.  He doesn’t know me nor does he even know my name (I know his mother), but he’s seen me around church as one of the pastors enough to know that there’s something special about me.  There isn’t.  But there’s definitely something special about the innocence and excitement of a little boy who wants to share those things with old men.

March 12 – I own the short straw.

March 13 – Show me the box so I can stay as far away from it as I can.

March 14 – Jesus’ warning about false teachers is not so much about teachers proclaiming false things as much as it is about false teachers making believable claims.

March 15 – Professional teachers are generally lousy and ineffective Bible study leaders, as are some preachers.

March 16 – Daylight Saving Time is a hoax.  Turning the clock ahead doesn’t gain anyone a split second of time.  But there are some ways to get a real extra hour of daylight if you want it:  1) Get up an hour earlier; 2) Go north a ways (after the vernal equinox); Wait about 20 days (again, after the vernal equinox); 4) Have it miraculously created by God.  People are either too lazy or too impatient to do the first three, and haven’t enough faith that God can do the last one.

March 17 – Men, share the lead in your relationship with the woman of your life.  But always take the lead on the dance floor.

March 18 – Pick any item from an ocean of toys and hold it up to your ear.  You’ll hear the sounds of little boys.

March 19 – There is great inspiration in seeing a colleague finish well, especially when he’s made you a part of the success he has achieved.  That is fellowship.  That is friendship.

March 20 – There is nothing noble about having to stand up to a belligerent woman.  But when the flock is in danger, the shepherd doubles down.

March 21 – Actually, there are a few atheists in foxholes, but I guarantee you that there are no atheists in caskets.

March 22 – The church that fires her pastor has robbed him of the joy of ministry or failed him in the neglect of ministry.  Probably both.  Or maybe there’s just some really mean sheep out there.

March 23 – The highest form of theological narcissism is to repeat a Bible study that you wrote because you thought it was really good.

March 24 – Me, to my 10 month old grandson when he picked up one of his sister’s toys:  “Put down that girl doll.  I’ll get you a boy doll to play with.”  I think I saw his eyes roll.

March 25 – If you cut off all the beards of every biker in the world and laid the strands end to end, you’d have some really mad bikers.

March 26 – I prefer to recycle used motor oil by using it to soak the undersides of my mower deck and utility trailer, rubbing it into a dog’s fur to get rid of mange, fueling the fires for old stumps and brush piles, and spraying it as a weed or termite killer.  The alternative to these environmentally safe things is to return it to the ground from whence it came.

March 27 – There’s no easy way to check the mail in the rain.  (If you have a mailbox and live in the country, then you know what I mean.)

March 28 – Appeasement is the radioactive half-life of the inevitable.

March 29 – If all the matter in the universe was created at the instant God created the heavens and the earth, then in some random way, I was there, but not before.  I mean, I’m not that old.

March 30 – Route 66 might be a romantic dream highway for some, but have you ever had to dodge an ass and its dung, both in the middle of the road, in some tiny two-lane Southwest town?

March 31 – Where eyes once feared to look, souls must look for forgiveness:  the Cross.

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