I have struggled for a long time with some spiritual issues. Some things are a matter of my heart; some things are a matter of my head. I’m just now beginning to understand the reality of this. In my heart, I know that Jesus is my Lord and that He has forgiven me of my sins (which I confess daily). In my head, however, my past is haunting me. I’ve purged out the “old leaven” like the Bible says to do in First Corinthians 5:7, and I’m trying to be a “new lump” since I truly belong to Christ. That purging is a long process and I’ve been at it a long time.
During some years that were especially troubling, I spent a vast majority of my time studying the Bible and writing. As I look back at it now, they were hard years. I overcame but not without difficulty. It’s behind me now but as I said, it’s haunting. And it has broken me.
So where do I go from here? I hope, forward, but only with the prayers of many and the help of a few brave and understanding souls, the greatest of whom is my wife. Thank you, Jesus, for this time in my life, even as hard as it is.